We're all human, we all procreate. Sometimes life gets hard and shit gets in the way and then we put our loved ones on the back burner as we try to handle whatever the hell we've got ourselves into. Then guess what we can't be bothered, we don't have time and sometimes we just really don't want to give any of ourselves to those we care the most for.
Sexual desire suffers when life takes us by the balls (pun intended). Relationships suffer and that even adds to our reluctance in the bedroom. But guess what! There are simple and very effective ways to reclaim your sexual desire holistically, without starting over, taking drugs or going on any kind of intimate bender.
1. Chocolate - uummm yes! I started with chocolate - well because it's chocolate. Chocolate helps the body to release serotonin and phenylethylamine. These feel good, psychological boosters assist the body to produce aphrodisiac and mood enhancing neurons. Try for dark, low sugar options. Share a fondue after dinner.
2. Fruits such as watermelon, banana, avocados and collagen rich foods boost the hormone levels in both males and females helping to reach sexual peak and also produce serotonin while containing many beneficial vitamins and minerals for our bodies. Maybe a trip to the local markets together doesn't sound so bad now?
3. Consuming herbs in your diet and burning herbs and oils associated with assisting desire and sexual function will of course help in that area. Herbs like Angelica, Maca Root, Clary Sage, Patchouli and many more (see related blog). Dust off that oil burner in the back of the cupboard.
4. Improving your self esteem will enhance the way you feel about your body and open you up more to facing another person with more confidence. Try overhauling your diet for more healthier options. Start an exercise regime to put you in the best physical shape. Focus your energy on your best attributes rather than your flaws. All these things will boost your confidence.
5. Reduce alcohol and drug consumption to improve your bodily functions. Cigarettes affect heart health and alcohol reduces desire and sensitivity. Try to avoid caffeine at least six hours before bedtime to reduce the risk of cortisol increase lowering the libido. And no one I know likes the smell of smokes and booze.
6. Reduce stress and anxieties in life. Sounds simple but one of the major causes of sex related issues is stress and not feeling up to it because of everything else putting us in a bad mood. Stop worrying! Really! It does nothing. Read last month's blog posts on how to overcome stress, anxiety and depression holistically. What is causing your stress? How can you overcome it?
7. Sleep. We all need sleep. If you want to have a great sleepless night ;) you first need the sleep beforehand so you are functioning at high levels. Our body will crave nothing but sleep and rest if we are deprived so put your health first and get enough hours to function properly.
8. More so women than men, but we all need great communication within our relationships. Work on closeness and your commitment to each other outside of the bedroom to feel a better connection in the bedroom. Think about date nights and doing little things together to reignite the passion and the reasons you are together.
9. If you struggle with the previous point and talking together, why not try therapy, talking to someone not within the relationship boundary. Sometimes we just need to air all of our internal battles to someone we don't know.
10. Last but not least foreplay. Reconnecting with our partner in a more passionate way is sometimes the only obstacle we need to overcome. Jumping straight to the deed can make it feel more like a chore and less like an experience to share with someone we love. Slow it down and find the passion that existed when you first met.